The Only Color

Posted on February 26, 2010 by David G Shrock

a flash story by David G Shrock

Listen to me tell this story: The Only Color MP3

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I accept the uniform, folded neat upon my arms. The soldier tells me blue is my color. Or is it gray? Another war, another battle—it is always the same—another uniform, nothing ever changes. A warrior only knows one color.

Blue or gray, I don my uniform holding me hot and tight. I stand in line with the others, mercenaries carrying scars of battle upon their faces. Some pale, some dark, the warriors hold two traits in common, their color and death in their eyes.

The mercenaries march, boots crushing the ground. The slinking centipede cuts through the army into the front line. Musket in left hand, sword in my right, I stand gazing over rolling green. A mercenary tells us to remember our color. Remember, the man beside me says tugging at his uniform.

Darkness arrives with the thunder of boots. I hold no argument, no ill between warriors. This is our way. The one beside me speaks again. He wishes me luck, find death at last. I thank him and shake my head. Another field, nothing ever changes. Perhaps my time passed me long ago. I wish him a good death and to remember our color.

Cannon fire announces the battle. Blue meets gray. Cries of war twist into howls of dread. I dance to the music of anguish, the beat of torment. I attack blue. Or is it gray? Dropping the musket, I carry my sword, cutting my way up the hill.

The soldiers are farmers and masons, not warriors. Blue and gray are their colors before the reaping. Some turn away in fear, others stand frozen clenching weapons. I clear first the ones with strength in their eyes. Weapons falling, death calling, a warrior only knows one color.

Blue or gray I forget, but their faces burn into memory. Color flees their cheeks, light departs their eyes. They shed crimson tears upon my dress. Even the mercenaries cry for me. I envy them, their freedom.

On the hilltop I stand alone gazing down over the field. Blue or gray matter no more. All of the fallen wear the same color—my color—flowing down the hill. Death and carrion are my companions.

Red is my color, the only color I know.

~Draco Torre

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  • markkerstetter
    To cut or not to cut? Your reasoning on why you wrote what you did works for me.

    I just read this by philosopher Simon Critchley: "[n war} a human being is meat and only this belief both expresses the lie and allows one to survive." This is from his essay on the film "The Thin Red Line".
  • Thanks for comments on story and voice. Nice catch by @TonyNoland even the editor missed it. I'll take everything into consideration.

    As for the last line, I believe it depends on the layers the reader catches onto (or stands out the most) and the beat as noted by several comments. If uncertain, see comments by Shannon, Lily, Melissa, Karen, and D. Paul Angel. Then take a closer look at this line:

    "He wishes me luck, find death at last. I thank him and shake my head. Another field, nothing ever changes. Perhaps my time passed me long ago."

    If I were to remove the last line, I'd edit the above down as well and change the beat in other places. However, this story is not black-and-white. Could it be written better? Certainly, but I don't expect all readers to see the same things. If nothing else, removing the last line breaks the music. Listen to the voice telling.

    Thanks, everyone. The feedback is most helpful as I study flash and writing in general.
  • I appreciate the discussion engendered by your piece. Thank you for writing it, and for describing your thought process for each line. And yes, there is a distinct beat or rhythm upon hearing it read aloud (stupendous, btw) and reading it 'flat' on the screen. I would most definitely take the back and forth as a compliment of the highest kind -- it means we all give a damn about your story ;^) Peace, Linda
  • Amy Taylor
    I was unsure about the last line too, but for the rest it's a great shorter piece, with an excellent use of language that's needed in such a small space.
  • David - I loved this piece - definitely one of your best. I vote for keeping the last line - it's not mandatory but i like the emphasis to tie the piece up. I definitely dig the new blog and kudos for the voice recording! you must tell me how you did it - i am hoping to do it soon with my stories. My only suggestion would be to read it a bit more slowly and be sure to enunciate - some of the words were too fast and ran together. You have a great voice, though :-)
  • Thanks. I used Garage Band to record voice. Need a better mic, but the built-in worked good enough. I'll try slower next time.
  • I think you can keep the last line, but I'd get rid of the red colored text on the word "red". I enjoyed the " They shed crimson tears upon my dress. Even the mercenaries cry for me." Well done.
  • I loved the rhythms of this, as well as the distilled economy of words. Very potent and beautiful.

    I would add my vote for striking the last line. One other minor item, a typo in paragraph 5 - you have "Canon fire announces the battle..."
  • ganymeder
    I thought this was great. I think the last line was unnecessary, but otherwise well written.
  • I do hope you know I meant I liked the last line. Either way, the piece is wonderful. Also wanted to let you know--there's an award for you at my blog: http://windspirit-girl.livejournal.com/21170.html
  • Thanks, Melissa. Yes, I understood you liked the last line. As you said, "both things need to be underscored" and your response points out the layer that makes the final line necessary. My stories tend to be multi-layered and I don't expect everyone to see it all at once. You're a careful reader and point out the layers including your personal view. Very much appreciated.

    As for the 'award', I don't normally participate in these things, but I'll consider a creative spin. Thanks.
  • Thank you, David. As for the award, I don't mind either way. The main thing was simply to say I like the way you tell lies. ;)
  • An intense, powerful story. It gave me chills, thinking of him going endlessly from war to war. Truly appropriate ending.
  • I often cut an author's last line thinking that's it's overkill, but this piece absolutely needs that last beat. This was wonderfully layered. Well done.

    Karen :0)




    possible suggestions?
    their color and [the] death in their eyes
    He wishes me luck,[to] find death at last
  • Great piece, I wouldn't change a thing.
  • I agree with Dan, that's a powerful image to end on, but for a different story.

    Why the last line? Lily points out the part about the character (Draco Torre) unable to find death and is the only survivor. Melissa points out the final line is about more than just blood. The final line connects the layers. There's a beat as well.
  • I think I have to disagree about the last line as well. The two sides of violence--it reduces everything to the same and yet has that sharp edge we can never forget. Not human beings, but violence and death draw the boundaries of identity--give identity in fact. Red, besides being the color of blood, is a color that will stand out in a landscape, distinguish itself above others. So, both things need to be underscored in my opinion.

    Great flash, David. Wonderful writing, as always. Among other lines, I loved: "The slinking centipede cuts through the army into the front line." Great visual.
  • Yes! Wonderfully succinct polemic against war here, David. Very effective colourful prose. Bravo.
  • Rhythmic feel to this helps convey the ebb and flow of the action. I'd cut the last two lines as 'All of the fallen wear the same color—my color—flowing down the hill' is such a powerful image to close on. :)
  • lovely prose - great to read
    Thanks for a great Fridayflahs
  • And death still eludes him. War owes no favours to anyone. Very good short and it fairly ripped along at a cracking pace, despite its dreamlike quality.
  • Yes, the last line is redundant (nearly,) a chorus to the other redundancies--almost, there's layers here.

    This is my first #FridayFlash under 500 word count at 372 words. And my first try at recording my voice.

    Thanks for the comments. Very kind.
  • This amazing economy is what gets me here - you use it to terrific effect, building up a sense of dread, repetitions of color, to where the colors change, at last.
  • Hi David: Loved your story... read it out loud to my son and he liked it, too. Well written, thought-provoking. Interesting how you used the concept of colour to show that futileness of war. I liked the last line, by the way (although you may have an extra 'the' methinks... but who cares! If we get paid by the word, I say throw in a bunch!) Good stuff, David. My favourite of yours so far.
  • Lou
    This is poignant, and does a fine job of illustrating the absurdity of war.
  • Great stuff David. Very moving and powerful. I think made more powerful if you chop the last 3 paragraphs. Peace, Linda
  • Excellent story. Really shows the horrors of war.
  • A chilling, brutal, accurate portrayal of war. Well done. I loved the last line!
  • This is the shortest piece I read from you, really beautiful and an interesting concept, David!

    PS: nice new blog design if I didn't mention it :)
  • annetylerlord
    David, this is an excellent, succinct piece. I was in the military and almost had to go to war during the gulf war. I feel the emotion and futility of the fighting. You captured it beautifully and sadly. I think the last line was crucial! Great story and I love the new website!
  • Love the new website. I listened to the audio. I have to disagree with some of the other comments, I think the last line works and pulls it all together. I also think it so represents the civil war period, brother against brother, obligation driving action rather than real belief. Excellent writing and relevant.
  • shannonesposito
    This really underlines the futility of war for me. Blue, grey? What does it matter which color someone is wearing, which belief they hold, which piece of dirt they call home? Red is the final color for all of us. Striking piece.
  • chance1234
    Nice melodic feel to it

    Good stuff
  • Wow that was something else. It really captures the absurdity of war.
  • I'll second Netta - the last line is redundant (no pun intended!)

    You do the shorter piece very well!
  • I read this and went back to hear you read the story. Both times awed by the poetic prose and beat to this.

    You have a very nice voice, too!
  • Excellent piece. I'm not sure the last line is necessary, but other than that I love it. Every word counts, and you made them count.
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